Saturday, July 05, 2014 21:01

Review 271. Alex Mallory – Wild.

16068974Title: Wild.
Author: Alex Mallory.
Pages: 448.
Published: July 8th 2014 by HarperTeen.
Sort: Stand-alone, fairytale.
Source: I received an ARC from the publisher.
The forest is full of secrets, and no one understands that better than Cade. Foraging, hunting, surviving— that’s all he knows. Alone for years, Cade believes he’s the sole survivor. At least, until he catches a glimpse of a beautiful stranger… Dara expected to find natural wonders when she set off for a spring break camping trip. Instead, she discovers a primitive boy— he’s stealthy and handsome and he might be following her. Intrigued, Dara seeks him out and sets a catastrophe in motion. Thrust back into society, Cade struggles with the realization that the life he knew was a lie. But he’s not the only one. Trying to explain life in a normal town leaves Dara questioning it. As the media swarm and the police close in, Dara and Cade risk everything to get closer. But will the truth about Cade’s past tear them apart?
Rating:

Words to describe this book? Horrible. Disgusting. Terrible. Tagline? A failed attempt for a Tarzan retelling.

You guys, I’m not even sure where I need to get started. This book made me roll my eyes, grind my teeth and there were several times where I wanted to throw it out of the window. I only finished it, because it’s a review copy and I put more effort in those. I feel so stupid, because I could have saved myself an hour filled with frustration and stupid characters that made my eyes bleed.

To make a long, boring story short. Cade has been living in the woods since he was little, because his parents believed the world was ending. Dara and Josh are secretly camping in the woods to bring new life in their relationship. They lied to their parents and now Dara found out they are followed by someone. Anyone sane would freak out, pack their backs and leave, like Josh suggests. Instead, Dara is fascinated and she forces Josh to stay.

“What the hell? Dara, we’re leaving. Let’s start getting this stuff together.”
Dara surprised herself when she said, “No.”
“Wait, what?”
“No,” she repeated. Tugging the necklace away from him, she tucked it in her pocket. “I’m not afraid. I’m curious. I mean, if he wanted to hurt us, he could have slit our throats last night while we were sleeping.”
“That’s real comforting.”


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I was glad that Josh turned out to have more sense. Dara keeps talking smack about him, but she doesn’t deserve him. She is constantly mad at him for trying to get back to safety, but what the hell is wrong with you girl?

And what kind of jerk would he be to abandon his girlfriend in the middle of nowhere. With some weird homeless guy already on her scent, at that. Where was all her careful-at-night, parking-under-the-lights, asking-security-to-walk-her-out defensiveness now?

At this point I was already very tired of Dara and nothing happens except for her whining, but then they get into a bear attack and I was secretly hoping they would just die. That wasn’t the case, because Cade jumps in the middle and saves them, while getting seriously injured. This is how he makes his big entrance in normal society. While he is in the hospital recovering, Dara gets to spread some more of her stupidity with her dumbass friend of a Sofia.

A high-pitched tone lingered on the line. It resolved into Sofia asking, “And?”
“And what?”
“Is he hot?”
With a sigh, Dara dropped her hand in her lap. “Seriously, Sof. I’m still traumatized, for real. He was torn to shreds. I was literally holding pieces of his chest together.” Immediately penitent, Sofia apologized. “Sorry. Sorry. My whole week has been is she hot? Is he hot? Who’s hot? Am I hot? Brain is still engaged in Orlando Vision, obviously. Is he okay?”


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Our precious Dara also isn’t aware of how terrible this situation is. Her parents found out she lied about her destination, she was also attacked by a bear and returns with a wounded boy with no identity. Instead of being happy that she is still allowed to leave the house, she is whining about how unfair life is.

Dara wasn’t sure why her parents had cracked down so hard. She was a good student. She didn’t get in trouble; they never had to worry about her—not like they did about Lia. And what’s more, they knew she was spending spring break with Josh. Sure, they thought it would be at Disney World, notDaniel Boone National, but so?

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Only finding these quotes and using them for this review makes me mad and annoyed again, so I can’t take it any longer. It’s up to you to decide if you can stand her, but good luck with that. Oh, also, just because Cade grew up in the forest doesn’t make this a Tarzan retelling. That would be the same as a book where a girl is looking for a shoe; that doesn’t make her a Cinderella either.

DISCLAIMER: all quotes are taken from an ARC copy, so they might change in the published book.
author image

Mel@thedailyprophecy

Mel is a microbiology technician who is obsessed with Disney, fairytale retellings and fantasy. If she's not reading or blogging, she's either busy with gaming, hanging out with family or watching a TV show. She loves summer and bright nail polish. One of her dreams is to travel the world. She has found her Prince Charming and they are together for 7+ years.

37 comments:

  1. And basically....I am not reading this book. I absolutely adore retellings but Tarzan was never one of my favorites. Sorry. I have a friend who might like this though!

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    1. I'm happy I could save you from this book!

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  2. Wow. Just wow. I am not even sure how you made it through this book and I am seriously in awe of you right now. The main character sounds like a nightmare! Can people really be that stupid? And we're actually supposed to LIKE her? A girl who has no sense of self preservation and seems to be completely selfish? Yeah... no.

    Thanks for taking one for the team, Mel! and I really hope you found a book to read that makes up for how bad this one was. *shudders*

    Rashika @ The Social Potato

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    Replies
    1. I think that was the aim from the author, but it only made me dislike her.. a lot.

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  3. Sorry this didn't work out for you, Mel. It sounds like a great premise, though. Great honest review! :)

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  4. Oh my gosh. This sounds absolutely horrible! I can't blame you for not enjoying it Mel! :( Dara sounds so self-absorbed! I mean...not accepting help when she clearly needs it? And her stupidity? No. Just no. I don't know how we're expected to be able to connect to her, but it doesn't sound like the majority of readers will.

    I'm with Rashika - thanks for taking one for the team Mel. Sorry this was such a disappointment. :(

    ~ Zoe @ The Infinite To-Read Shelf

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    1. It's sometimes a good feeling to know you saved your followers from a horrible book, haha.

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  5. I had my doubts about this book already, though I was still slightly intrigued by the story, your review totally helped me get rid of the struggle whether to read it or not. This doesn't sound like my cup of tea at all, the main character sounds incredibly frustrating.
    I know how much you like retellings (as do I) and I'm sorry it turned out this bad *shudders*

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  6. OK your review totally made me bust out laughing - especially the gifs. I wouldn't be able to stand this girl either. Especially that first quote.. perfect gif to go with that by the way. It sounds like Josh was completely sensible and she was just a dumbass chick.. please tell me the author didn't make her blonde? *facepalm*

    April @ My Shelf Confessions

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    1. Ha, at least I could make someone laugh about my misery :p

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  7. Ohhh, I thought this sounded interesting, so I got a copy off Edelweiss, but now I'm not excited at all. At least you can be humorous about the horribleness? I don't think I could stand Dara. Stupid girl.

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  8. Dara sounds EXTREMELY too-stupid-to-live. I can understand reckless characters, heck, I root for them all the time, but the illogically reckless, I can live without them, thank you very much! I feel like I'll be forming a tumor in my head when she's around, so yeah, definitely not bothering with this one anymore. Eek.

    Faye at The Social Potato

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  9. Hmm yeah nope - I have this thing with annoying bitchy characters - I can't usually stand them. We must hit her with our boom stick

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  10. Nnnnnooooooooo!! This one is next on my TBR when I finish Kiss of Deception. I read one REALLY good review of it, but now I'm terrified! Dara sounds awful!

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  11. Oh wow..there's no hope for this book for me. I like retellings but this one sounds like a complete fail. I really like the GIFs you pick out for the review Mel! It really gets you into how crappy the book is.

    Happy Reading
    Patrick @ The Bookshelves

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    1. I LOVE retellings, so it's always disappointing when they are so bad :(

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  12. Oh no, I was actually kind of looking forward to this one because I'm obsessed with Tarzan (who would have known?), and from just reading your review I can spot so many things that they got totally wrong from the source material. I'll definitely be giving this one a miss, and I think my brain/patience will be glad about that!

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    1. Haha, yes, your avatar is no clue at all ;) Save yourself and your Tarzan-loving-heart from this disaster!

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  13. I definitely get where you're coming from. I was SO excited when I started (Tarzan retelling!), and it ended up being a very disappointing book.

    Thanks for your honest thoughts :)

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  14. I went through a phase of just requesting nearly everything HarperTeen put up on EW. Including this one. And now, I am so late on reading (let alone reviewing) so many of them, that it feels like I will never dig out of this hole.

    I cannot force myself through 450 awful pages like you did. I am a slow reader with even the best of books, and I suspect this one will take me more than a week. I'll give it 40-50 pages to wow me.

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    1. Harper is far too tempting on Edelweiss. This book did sound good, but it's such a shame it was so disappointing.

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  15. This sounds like a terrible book, and wow, Dara doesn't sound like someone I want to read about. This seems like such a weak shot at a Tarzan retelling too! I'm definitely not reading this one.

    Thank you for the honest review, Mel!

    Lyra @ Defiantly Deviant

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  16. Oh man, just reading those quotes you selected annoyed me >.< I can only imagine how reading this entire book must have been. I'm so sorry you wasted any amount of time on this one Mel but at least you did us a public service by warning us against the stupidity. I was also really excited about a Tarzan retelling but like you said, just because a boy grows up in the forest doesn't automatically mean it's a retelling of Tarzan! The MC sounds like one that could incite violent feelings in me so just that bit makes me know I'll pass on this one! Thanks for the lovely, honest review and I hope your next read is/was much much better :) xxxx

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    1. It was torture, haha. I'm happy I could do my job of protecting you guys ;)

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  17. Oh man! D: So sorry you didn't enjoy this one Mel... That positively sucks! :( But your points make a lot of sense, I think if I were in your position I would be yanking my hair out too! Dara sounds like a girl who thinks the world revolves around herself and is too conceited to think about it otherwise. And definitely just because it's about a boy who grew up in the forest doesn't make this a Tarzan retelling ha! So strange!
    Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mel! :)

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    1. That's exactly how Dara was portrayed, so annoying!

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  18. Oh man, I'm so sad to hear this Mel. I also don't like Wild, it's so frustrating and it's also kinda long too. I didn't like the characters as well, this one is not a good retelling to me. I don't like Tarzan to begin with and this made it worst. :(

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  19. Mel recently highlighted this on YA Midnight Reads so I was intrigued about this. I personally love fairytale retellings, especially ones that aren't usually written. Tarzan fell into that realm for sure.

    I'm so glad that you've written this review though, it's allowed me to stay far far faaaarrrr away from what would have undoubtedly been a negative reading experience. The heroine in this one sounds frankly awful. She seems insipid, self centered and certainly sounds like no Jane. Just reading the quotes you pulled from this one made me cringe.

    Thank you so much for reviewing this one and in turn informing me of how unenjoyable this one was. Very nice and detailed review (:

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  20. Aw. I'm so sorry this book was so awful for you sweetie :( But yess. I totally understand you. It sounds HORRIBLE. I would not be able to read it. The quotes are awful. Grrr. Thank you for sharing, though :D Your review is awesome. <3

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  21. Well, I was this close to downloading the ARC of Wild. Saved from a train wreck because this sounds like a retelling hoax. Sigh.

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    1. Pfieeew! Good thing I saved you just in time.

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  22. Haha, your review makes me so happy that I decided not to download this one! It sounds AWFUL!!! Your review had me giggling so much, I definitely couldn't have handled reading this book. Dara is one of those characters that I would just want to be able to reach inside my book so I could strangle her to death.

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  23. Ugh. I think we've all experienced books like this so we (I) feel your pain. I am wishing you lots of good future reads to make up for this!

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